The morn that I was born, my old man beat up the doctor.
He clocked the doctor 'cause the doctor said I looked
like Chewbacca. The doctor said, "You were misled, sir,
when at first you mistook me. I did not mean your
lovely wife was shacking up with a Wookiee. What I mean
is Wolverine has less hair than your son. He looks like
Chewey, Bababooey, and Hong Kong Phooey all in one. To
put it mild, your newborn child's completely nutty looking.
I'd shove him back in the oven until he's done cooking."
But why's everybody always picking on me? 'Cause my
fifteen-year-old cousin has less acne. Why's everybody
always picking on me? Ain't brushed them teeth since
1983. Why's everybody always picking on me? 'Cause you
got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee. Why's everybody
always picking on me? Took your mom to the prom and got
lucky.
Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased.
So he breaks in the Professor's lab and he makes some
L.S.D. Peaks, freaks, and eats the Skipper's brain, then
beats Ginger with coconuts while Mr. Howe and Lovey burn
alive inside of their grass hut. Oh, he'll kill again,
that Gilligan. They should've let him be. Like a postal
clerk, I'll go berserk if you don't stop teasing me.
See, the trick is only pick on someone who can't do no
harm like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm.
So why's everybody always picking on me? 'Cause you wore
bell-bottoms 'til the late eighties. Why's everybody
always picking on me? 'Cause you run like a girl and you
sit down to pee. Why's everybody always picking on me?
'Cause your only school chum was the lunchlady. Why's
everybody always picking on me? 'Cause no one likes you,
monkeyboy.

Josh Spurling - bass, guitar, drums, vocals

Recorded December 2003 - January 2004